Tuesday, October 28, 2014

How to have Gump-tion!

Sometimes you just need to run.
Sometimes you need to stop thinking about all the what ifs, whys, hows, and trust in the plan. Sometimes your plan changes and that's OK!!
What if your plan isn't what you originally thought?
Guess what? It won't EVER be exactly what you thought!!!
What if it gets dark and people leave you?
It WILL get dark and people WILL leave you!
Don't give up!!! Run toward something you want and believe in!
If you start running people will join in and you will give people hope!  Stop thinking and just do it. Don't give up.  Run through the pile of dog shit...it happens!!  
When you fall, get up, keep your head up, put one foot in front of the other! 
Sometimes we need to trust. 
As Forest Gump says,
"You got to put the past behind you before you can move on!!"
Stop thinking too far ahead of you. There are days when you need a vision but there are days when you just need to run because you can't see 2 feet ahead of you!! It may be necessary to glance over your shoulder but if you start running backward you won't see what's important and you will fall.
Also, sometimes you may need to slow down.
There are times when you need to stop thinking and start running.
Sometimes you will feel lost.
But in the end the race is only with yourself!
I believe in you.
You will never know your limits unless you push yourself to them.
You've got this!
You're going to face steep hills but then there will be valleys.
There are times when you wonder why am I doing this?
Just keep running.
You're stronger than you think.
I believe in you.


                          

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Terrific Tuesday! Why I parent each child differently


I'm a firm believer that we need to raise each of our children differently because we all have different needs, motivations, and perspectives.

I often hear people say, "I'm not sure what happened to Sally, we raised all of our kids the same way but she came out differently!"  I have heard parents say to their child, "I don't know why you're angry, Joshua got the same treatment and HE'S not upset!"

We all have different needs at different times.  The more we try to "be fair" with our children at EVERY juncture by spending equal time, giving the same exact consequences, and giving the same kind of love, the more we're going to isolate our children.  Let me be clear, parents need to be in charge and make sure that their children know healthy boundaries and make sure their children follow the family rules with similar consequences when they deliberately make a very bad choice.  However, we also need to take time to think about how each of our children think and conduct themselves individually, especially when talking to them after they have 'cooled off'.

Here's an example.
Nathan and Jerry are twins.  Technically, they should be at the same level because they are the same age, however, Nathan needs more help communicating his needs and Jerry is more independent and seems happier. Because of Nathan's challenges he may need more reassurance than Jerry.  That's not to say that Jerry should be ignored.  Jerry's needs are different.  We all have different times in our life when we have different challenges and needs.  We all have different LOVE LANGUAGES and our needs may be met differently at different times.  The more we can really LISTEN to our children, the more we will understand their behaviors and needs.  This isn't always easy.  Here are some reasons to give your child a unique approach.

1.  We all have different needs and we want to be special and unique in our own way.  My daughter and I have a private talk time EVERY day.  Build in a time when her and I can talk about any problems she is having.  After we read together, we turn out the lights out I ask her if she has any questions for me or any problems that she's having at school or at Daddy's house.  She really likes this time and asks some great questions.  

2.  Understanding birth order.  
(This picture is thanks to Bring it on home blog)

Birth order is very important because we want to be sure that we are challenging our kids in different ways.  For example, the youngest child needs to be a leader at times and be expected to be responsible (even though they are the youngest) and the oldest child may need to be a follower and not have to worry about being responsible all the time.  The middle child may need more dates with a parent individually or praise for being a leader or being a silly follower and not just being the peace keeper.


3.  Everyone reacts differently when we're angry.  We all do things for a reason.  Sometimes we need attention, sometimes we need validation, sometimes we need love, and sometimes we need boundaries.  As adults, some of us have a tendency to shove our feelings inside when we're angry, others may act out aggressively.  Some of us get depressed, others get experience anxiety but we all struggle with HOW to express our anger or frustrations appropriately.  Teaching children appropriate ways to express their anger (especially by YOUR example) is the best way that we can help our kids navigate their feelings when they encounter challenges in their life.

4.  Offering different rewards for outstanding achievements.  As parents, we want to reward our children (when they go above and beyond the call of duty) but it's important to remember that we don't all appreciate the same things.  One child may enjoy a simple long walk with a parent as a reward while another child may want cash or a toy (no, it's not bribery, it's incentives!)

The bottom line is, taking the time to REALLY understand your child's individual needs is what really matters.  If we are careful to not label them as "the needy one" or the "the easy one" and instead help them to feel confident and self assured because they are special and unique they will feel valued and be more likely express their feelings appropriately.

Friday, October 10, 2014

5 Fun Things to Do in Chester County this Weekend


1.  Rotor Fest at The American Helicopter Museum
Saturday, October 10th 10-430
*rain or shine
Check out the airshow (which really looks cool!)  
$15 for adults, $10 for kids under 12, Free for kids under 2
**3 AIRSHOWS DAILY!

2.  Longwood Gardens  Pumpkin Playground
$20 for adults, $10 for kids age 5-18 and Free for kids age 0-4

Small haunted house, dancing, hula hooping, and fun!!
$8 per person

4.  Eagleview Fall Fest in Lionville
Saturday, October 11th 1-4
Live music, vendors, activities, and more.
*Cost is free but asked to bring a canned food donation

5.  Weaver's Orchard Family fun days
Well, I admit, it's not in Chester County, but it's a short drive and this definitely seems worth it (especially THIS weekend!) 


Enjoy food, hay rides, pick-your-own fruit and plenty of kids’ activities including face painting, obstacle courses and a clown. A Family Fun Day will also be held on Columbus Day Monday!

Enjoy:

  • Delicious food
  • Live music
  • Pick-your-own apples and pumpkins
  • Hay rides
  • Apple cannon
  • Pumpkin painting & face painting
  • Straw pyramid (ages 5 and older)
  • Barrel train
  • Inflatable obstacle course
  • Farm yard play area
  • Farm animals & alpacas
  • Meet-and-greet with Posey the Clown
Cost: $8 per child and $4 per adult